Monday, August 18, 2008

VH1's New "Fatherhood" Role Model: Is It Just Me . . .

By Debbie Schlussel

. . . Or is there something VERY wrong with "2 Live Crew"'s Luther "Luke Skywalker" Campbell's new set-up as a fatherhood role model? That's what VH1 is pimping on America, starting tonight on "Luke's Parental Advisory"--a "family values" show (if you're talkin' John Edwards family values).

Remember him? Luther Campbell is the has-been best known for the grotesque, "Me So Horny," with lyrics, such as "My D-ck So Hard," which they, sadly, played uncensored on MTV and MTV2 (full disgusting lyrics below). Every song by this guy was obscene and basically X-rated, and all of his "albums" (if you can call them that) carried Parental Advisory warnings. Now, Campbell has continued in his path of filth by taking up as a pornography company owner.

Luther Campbell of 2 Live Crew: VH1's New PG-Rated "Fatherhood Role Model"

Oh, and he's debuting tonight on VH1 as the epitome of "fatherhood . . . a role model for his kids." (They don't mention that his two kids we're had out-of-wedlock from a past "relationship.") That's the VH1 press release BS, but in reality, Luther Campbell is one of those rare cases where kids would be better off withOUT their father. In this case, he's a nasty, filthy cesspool of garbage. The only lesson in fatherhood and role-modeling he can teach them is the obvious: "Do as I say, not as I do." VH1 also describes him as a "Constitutional rights activist," because he fought for the right to use a woman's orgasmic scream sound effects from "Full Metal Jacket" in his filthy "Me So Horny." Wow, a bastion of American patriotism, this guy.

By the way, most of the newspaper articles on this show describe Campbell as a "businessman," but they don't say that his "business" is porn. Kudos to the New York Times for at least having the guts to tell the truth in its coverage of this waste of time, trashy show. Sadly, while pointing out what a crummy show it is, even the NYTimes pimps it as a "guilty-pleasure classic":
"Luke's Parental Advisory," belongs to the wild-parent genre of reality family shows . . . . Luther Campbell, who made his name with "Me So Horny" two decades ago and now runs his own pornography production company, tries to keep his teenage son and daughter on the straight and narrow. But he doesn't try all that hard. "You call yourself a player?" he asks upon learning that his 14-year-old son has only one girlfriend.

With its pole-dancing auditions, blustering admonitions ("The girlfriend with the baby, she gotta go") and constant apologias for the family business, "Luke's Parental Advisory" may become a guilty-pleasure classic. The show it is most reminiscent of, in some ways, is "The Sopranos," with Mr. Campbell as a more avuncular Tony, forced by his profession to hang out at strip clubs. [DS: Methinks Tony Soprano is turning over in his pay-cable grave; this show is on regular prime-time cable, where kids can easily tune in.] . . . [There] is a forthright emphasis on cleavage. It's Mr. Campbell's job.

Sorry, but there's a line between "guilty pleasure" and "depraved outrage." Campbell long ago crossed that line. Hard to believe, but this show is only rated TV-PG. Unfortunately, too many Ps won't give the proper G, and a lot of American kids will think the Campbell Family values are the way to go.

I'm not posting the disgusting, orgasmic scream "Me So Horny" video here. But here are the "lyrics"--if you call this crap, "lyrics". With "role models" and "fathers" like this, why doesn't VH1 just do a show, "Bin Laden's Family Values," or "Ron Jeremy: America's New Role Model"? Oops, I just gave them some ideas they might act on.

"Me So Horny" By 2 Live Crew
What'll we get for ten dollars?
Every ting you want
Ooh! don't do that, baby!
ahh!Hold on this!
oh, sock it to me!
Chorus (repeated during breakdowns):
Ahh! me so horny!Me love you long time!
Verse 1: [Brother Marquis]
Sittin at home with my d--k on hard
So I got the black book for a freak to call
Picked up the telephone,
then dialed the 7 digits
Said, yo, this Marquis, baby!
are you down with it?
I arrived at her house,
knocked on the door
Not having no idea of
what the night had in store
I'm like a dog in heat,
a freak without warning
I have an appetite for sex,
'cuz me so horny
Ahh! me so horny!
Me love you long time!

etc. etc. etc. (You get the idea)

Yup, America, the man who made this vile filth is the new role model for fatherhood. Awesome.
If you let your kids watch this show, they should sue you for malpractice.

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