A Society Illusively Fixated on Fatherhood

Written by Randi James

This is in response to Hopes rise for progress on fatherhood woes.

President Obama is seen as key figure in campaign to promote responsible dads because he has been a target: a target of the idea of "Responsible Fatherhood" that originated in Illinois (and Indiana):

He is a past co-sponsor of an ambitious fatherhood bill that Democrats Sen. Evan Bayh of Indiana and Rep. Danny Davis of Illinois plan to reintroduce in conjunction with Father's Day. Many of its provisions are aimed at removing barriers that deter noncustodial fathers from providing financial support to their children.

These men are not well-intentioned. They could give a flying fuck about the needs of Black families, especially women and children. They illustrate Black matriarchal families as the epitome of all of societal ills, citing deceptive research that talks about father absence and sex, incarceration, education, self-esteem, etc. This is crafted in order to continue to subjugate White women...all women.

The "Responsible Fatherhood" money (Courtesy of the Administration of Children and Families ACF) is supposed to be used to help men improve themselves economically, for the betterment of their children. And many of us support this idea. However, when this money is being used to help fathers gain access to their children via joint custody and custody switching (from mothers), we must question the motives.


90FR0025
RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD: CLASSES WITH INCARCERATED FATHERS. CONCURRENT WORK WITH MOTHER/CARETAKER OF CHILD, TO LEARN RESPONSIBILITY
ACF
ACF
$441,387


How does decreasing or eliminating child support benefit children of poverty?

How does establishing or maintaining a relationship with a previously/currently violent father benefit children with emotional problems?

How does alternating custody benefit children with stability and attachment issues?
And much more...

The Black communities have a multiplicity of needs that stem from the intersection of the -isms. We are not well-served by simple notions, especially those that are held by people not vested in our best interests.

"No one objects to responsible fatherhood," said Kim Gandy, president of the National Organization for Women. "What we object to is the use of very limited welfare funds that are needed for the support of children being diverted into job training and other programs for fathers that are not available to the mothers."

Joshua DuBois, director of the White House Office of Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships, said Obama's record on women's rights should help ease any concerns over his interest in fatherhood.

"The president has been such a solid supporter of women's issues," DuBois said. "They know he's not going to do anything to compromise the position of women in their families, and that trust is key in the search for common ground."

Interesting. Notice the lack of the use of the word "mother." When does society talk about mothers, only on Mother's Day? Where in the Whitehouse.gov literature are mothers' issues addressed? This is very telling.

Apparently, women and mothers are indistinguishable--fathers and men are not. If President Obama really wanted to help families, he would establish policies that create stability for children in their current arrangements. Regulating the family through Fatherhood Initiatives is a joke, unless it involves re-framing the negative ideas that many men have about women, mothers, and caretaking.

Some like to speak about how Black men disrespect their own women in their music lyrics, video, and literature. However, these attitudes do not operate inside of a vacuum--they are reflective of society at large. This pitting Black men against Black women serves the agenda of men like Bayh and Leving. We know we have all this booty shaking and titties in the videos, we're addressing it. But who's doing something about all of these homicides and familicides, mostly committed by White men?

It is our greatest hope that President Obama is as intelligent as we thought he was when we voted for him. Not all of us want a dog, a two parent male/female household, and a white picket fence. Fatherhood can't even exist, without Motherhood.


List of Award Numbers, Award Title, OPDIV, Program Officen, and finally Sum of Actions (our tax $$$):

90FR0093
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 450,000
90FR0093
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
OFA
$ 225,000
90FR0082
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD- PRIORITY AREA #3
ACF
ACF
$ 450,000
90FR0082
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD- PRIORITY AREA #3
ACF
OFA
$ 225,000
90FR0079
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 499,104
90FR0079
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
OFA
$ 249,552
90FR0060
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 449,416
90FR0060
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
OFA
$ 223,808
90FR0031
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 2,000,000
90FR0031
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
OFA
$ 1,000,000
90FR0104
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 474,640
90FR0010
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 652,110
90FR0008
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD, PRIORITY AREA 3
ACF
ACF
$ 500,000
90FR0007
F&CS PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD PROJECT
ACF
ACF
$ 460,000
90FR0004
HEALTHY MARRIAGE AND RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD PROJECT
ACF
ACF
$ 956,109
90FR0103
HSI RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD LEVEL 1 - A COORDINATED EFFORT TO RECRUIT AND ENROLL FATHERS AND EDUCATE THE COMMUNITY ABOUT
ACF
ACF
$ 1,500,000
90FR0101
IDOC APPLICATION FOR THE PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD GRANT FOR THE PREP PROGRAM
ACF
ACF
$ 798,740
90FR0098
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD COMMUNITY ACCESS PROGRAM
ACF
ACF
$ 1,900,000
90FR0097
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 922,924
90FR0095
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 950,000
90FR0094
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 440,184
90FR0092
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 694,061
90FR0091
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 1,450,442
90FR0088
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD, COMMUNITY ACCESS PROGRAM
ACF
ACF
$ 2,000,000
90FR0086
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD COMMUNITY ACCESS PROGRAM
ACF
ACF
$ 1,998,000
90FR0085
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD COMMUNITY ACCESS PROGRAM
ACF
ACF
$ 4,000,000
90FR0084
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 1,000,000
90FR0081
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 407,588
90FR0080
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 462,500
90FR0077
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 561,660
90FR0075
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 452,000
90FR0073
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 870,000
90FR0072
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 500,000
90FR0070
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 388,998
90FR0069
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 486,488
90FR0068
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 975,000
90FR0067
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 1,000,000
90FR0066
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 738,664
90FR0064
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 310,000
90FR0063
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 450,000
90FR0062
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 464,203
90FR0059
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 852,000
90FR0058
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 500,000
90FR0057
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 436,671
90FR0056
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD, PRIORITY AREA 3
ACF
ACF
$ 465,533
90FR0055
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 400,000
90FR0053
POMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 500,000
90FR0052
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 350,000
90FR0050
PROMORING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 847,712
90FR0049
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 1,000,000
90FR0045
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 462,000
90FR0044
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 824,000
90FR0043
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 463,999
90FR0042
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 1,410,000
90FR0040
PROMOTING RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD
ACF
ACF
$ 500,000
For more info on fatherhood drivel, see: this, and click on some of the posts categorized below.

Illinois Judge Didn't Listen to Mother's Concern for Her Sons...BAM! They are Dead Now

About the murder-suicide that happened recently in Illinois, a father killing his two young sons and himself during visitation...from NBC Week:

Family and friends of two slain LeRoy boys say a McLean County judge is just as guilty as the boys' father in their deaths. More than a thousand people have signed a petition calling for Judge James Souk to resign.

Online Petition for Judge Souk To Resign

Amy Leitchenberg believes her boys would be with her now if it weren't for Judge James Souk granting her ex-husband unsupervised visitations. She pleaded with the courts to keep her boys away from their father, Michael Connolly, because she says he was abusive to her, depressed and suicidal.

Now, there are calls for the courts to change and consider those risk factors in cases like this. "If those risk factors are high for a parent to parent, then is there a way to put that protective factor in place," Kim Wells, Executive Director for the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence, says.

"There is a lot of protection and I doubt very much that the judge failed in this case," Longtime Peoria Divorce Attorney David Lynch says. Lynch says even though Michael Connolly violated orders of protection, he believes the judge followed the law because he showed no specific harm to the kids. "A court cannot stop a visitation unless it finds the visitation would be dangerous to the child's mental, moral or physical health," Lynch says.

Still, family and friends of the boys are frustrated saying Jack and Duncan's deaths could have been prevented. That's why they're also planning to file a complaint with a Judicial Board in Springfield about Judge Souk's decision. "I do believe this family was failed. That these children were failed and we need to take a long, hard look at what we can do," Wells says.

"A judge is going to say look at what happened to those two kids. Should I be overly restrictive to a very good parent because they might be that one in 10-thousand or one in 100,000. It’s a very nerve-wracking business," Lynch says.

Judge Souk's decision in November does include a psychiatrist report that states Michael Connolly was not a threat to himself or others. Authorities say they believe the father Michael Connolly hanged himself. Meanwhile, the cause of death for his two boys found in the back of his car is not being released because their mother does not want to know.

Funeral arrangements for Jack and Duncan Connolly will be at the LeRoy Christian Church. A visitation will be Thursday from four to seven p.m. The Funeral will be Friday morning at 10 a.m.